11.12.2019
Since I was absent yesterday, I wasn't unsure about what I needed to finish for my homework. Which meant that I worked on focusing on the class today. Throughout this class, we were critiqued by Mr. Paterson about our thesis statement (aka the last sentence written in the introduction paragraph) for the essay that we would be writing during the 2nd semester. Our group decided to be direct by stating our main topic as well as simplifying it so that it is easier for readers to understand the thesis. From this class, I learned the importance of creating an essay that is connected and is stated throughout the whole document,
We first sent our hook that we thought of from the last class to a different group to receive criticism. I made sure to not include any first perspective such as "I" or "We" so that it doesn't become opinionated. I also avoided the usage of contractions, so we double-checked to see if there are any apostrophe marks that imply contractions. Although contractions are very useful in a daily conversation, or in creating stories, I thought that it wasn't appropriate for an essay, since formal writing should look professional, and shouldn't give off a casual style by using words that are connected to non-formative writing such as "it's, or can't". I thought the hook from the other team was nice because it started with a saying that made sense, and that it tied the knot at the end. It was also summarized in a few sentences, which I thought was something that our group could implement since the hook felt a bit too long.
We also were critiqued by Mr. Paterson for our thesis statement, which tells the audience about the whole essay through a claim and 3 pieces of evidence. As a result, we were told that our claim was clear, but we didn't specify the reasons, and rather listing the improvements that are needed, and not specifically focusing on the reasons why the problem is one that needs solving. In order to fix that, I would like to rewrite the improvements into a structure that is answering the claim. Overall, we were able to understand what we need to work on to create a neat compact, essay.
We first sent our hook that we thought of from the last class to a different group to receive criticism. I made sure to not include any first perspective such as "I" or "We" so that it doesn't become opinionated. I also avoided the usage of contractions, so we double-checked to see if there are any apostrophe marks that imply contractions. Although contractions are very useful in a daily conversation, or in creating stories, I thought that it wasn't appropriate for an essay, since formal writing should look professional, and shouldn't give off a casual style by using words that are connected to non-formative writing such as "it's, or can't". I thought the hook from the other team was nice because it started with a saying that made sense, and that it tied the knot at the end. It was also summarized in a few sentences, which I thought was something that our group could implement since the hook felt a bit too long.
We also were critiqued by Mr. Paterson for our thesis statement, which tells the audience about the whole essay through a claim and 3 pieces of evidence. As a result, we were told that our claim was clear, but we didn't specify the reasons, and rather listing the improvements that are needed, and not specifically focusing on the reasons why the problem is one that needs solving. In order to fix that, I would like to rewrite the improvements into a structure that is answering the claim. Overall, we were able to understand what we need to work on to create a neat compact, essay.
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